It Takes Two
Following his Sept. 23 jailbreak from a minimum security facility in Suffolk, the 28-year-old convicted burglar repeatedly made mocking online posts accompanied by pictures of him enjoying life on the outside. Among the online abuse he heaped on his pursuers was a special Christmas post in which he shared a photo of himself dressed in tinsel, holding a turkey with one hand and flipping the bird with another.
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Here´s the weather forecast ....
| Miércoles | Jueves | Viernes | Sábado | Domingo |
 20° C | 8° C | 18° C | 8° C | 19° C | 9° C |  18° C | 9° C |  14° C | 10° C |
| Despejado | Despejado | Despejado | Nubes Dispersas | Probabilidad de Lluvia |
I have been sent the following letter which highlights the frustrations felt in the UK. I have toned down some of the language and have left a few words which, if changed, would alter the context too much.
...................................................................
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back
in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody
born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving licence,
my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those
stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable
census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
abso-bloody-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!
I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an'
me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my xxxxing address !!!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes
workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for God's sake. I just want to go
and park my backside on some sandy beach somewhere.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether
I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last
xxxxing people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy
city to get another xxxxing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
£30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd
rather have us running all over the xxxxin' place like chickens with our
heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's
really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed
to smile?! (bureaucratic xxxxin' morons) Hey, do you know why we
couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!
Signed
An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since
1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years
and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me
to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN xxxxING PAKISTAN !
........................................................................................................................
It would appear that very little appears putting marriage in a positive light. I, therefore, found the following interesting....................................
Stay married, stay happy
No matter how much your spouse may drive you crazy, a new study found that being married is actually good for your mental health.
According to a study published in the British journal Psychological Medicine, married people have a lower risk of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
However, if you lose your spouse through separation, divorce, or death, your risk shoots right back up. Women are more likely to turn to substance abuse, while men are more likely to fall into depression.
None of this surprises me one bit. You don't need a study to tell you that being with someone you love is the best antidepressant around -- and that's a gift that keeps on giving no matter how long you've been together.
But besides that, few things can top divorce when it comes to stress. The emotional separation is bad enough on its own, but it usually comes with tremendous financial pressure on both sides.
Still, here's where the stats miss the mark: Take the study to its logical conclusion and you'd have to assume it's better to stay in a cold and loveless marriage than to move on.
Please. I can't think of a fate worse than that.
But if you're happy in your marriage – or have a union worth preserving – then do everything you can to make sure that your lifelong partner really is your partner for life.
Staying sane – one way or another,
William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.
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Planting Potatoes
A farmer gets sent to jail, and his wife is trying to hold the farm together until her husband can get out. She's not, however, very good at farm work, so she writes a letter to him in jail: "Dear sweetheart, I want to plant the potatoes. When is the best time to do it?"
The farmer writes back: "Honey, don't go near that field. That's where all my guns are buried."
But, because he is in jail, all of the farmer's mail is censored. So when the sheriff and his deputies read this, they all run out to the farm and dig up the entire potato field looking for guns. After two full days of digging, they don't find one single weapon.
The farmer then writes to his wife: "Honey, now is when you should plant the potatoes."
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Word of the Day
enviar ehn-vee-ar' (transitive verb)
to send, to dispatch; to ship, to mail; to fax
EXAMPLES
Tengo que enviar una tarjeta a mi abuela para la Navidad. - I have to send a card to my grandmother for Christmas.
Envíale mis saludos a tu familia. - Send my regards to your family.
For more information and examples, visit the SpanishDict.com entry for enviar.
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Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work.
But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb,so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of our good Lord are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, '...And where do you think you're going?!'
She said, 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark!
........................................................................................
Planting Potatoes
A farmer gets sent to jail, and his wife is trying to hold the farm together until her husband can get out. She's not, however, very good at farm work, so she writes a letter to him in jail: "Dear sweetheart, I want to plant the potatoes. When is the best time to do it?"
The farmer writes back: "Honey, don't go near that field. That's where all my guns are buried."
But, because he is in jail, all of the farmer's mail is censored. So when the sheriff and his deputies read this, they all run out to the farm and dig up the entire potato field looking for guns. After two full days of digging, they don't find one single weapon.
The farmer then writes to his wife: "Honey, now is when you should plant the potatoes."
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Today´s Music
1965, American disc-jockey Alan Freed died from uraemia at the age of 42. Freed called himself the father of rock and roll; appeared in the movies such as Rock Around The Clock and Don't Knock the Rock. His career was destroyed by the payola scandal that hit the broadcasting industry in the early 1960s.
1967, The Monkees TV show was shown for the first time in the UK.
1982, during a Ozzy Osbourne concert in Des Moines, Iowa, a member of the audience threw an unconscious bat onto the stage. Thinking it was one of his rubber fakes, Ozzy picked it up and bit off its head. The singer was taken to hospital to be given a rabies injection.
1985, Foreigner had their only UK No.1 single with 'I Want To Know What Love Is'. London-born Mick Jones wrote the song and sang lead vocals with the British-American rock band.
1988, The Beatles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Yoko, Sean, and Julian Lennon all attended. Paul McCartney did not attend. He sent a letter stating that continuing business differences with the other ex-Beatles was the reason for his absence.
1999, Bill Albaugh drummer from the 1960psychedelic group The Lemon Pipers died aged 53- 1967 US No.1 single 'Green Tambourine'.
2000, Ray Jones, bass player with Billy J Kramer and the The Dakotas died. 1
2000, Incredible as it might sound, Tourism chiefs in Liverpool were banned from putting up motorway signs saying 'Liverpool, the Birthplace Of The Beatles'.
2001, a memorial service was held for Kirsty MacColl who was killed in a boating accident off the coast of Mexico in December 2000. Bono from U2 and Billy Bragg were among friends and fans that packed St Martin-in-the-fields church in London.
Born on this day,
1924, Slim Whitman, American country singer, (1955 UK No.1 single 'Rose Marie',
1943, Rick Evans, singer, Zager and Evans, (1969 US; UK No.1 single 'In The Year 2525').
1945, Eric Stewart, guitar, keyboards, vocals, Mindenders, (1966 UK No.2 single Groovy Kind Of Love'),
1946,Jimmy Chambers, singer, Londonbeat, (1990 UK No.2 1991 US No.1 single 'I've Been Thinking About You').
1965, Heather Small, singer, M People, (1993 UK No.2 single 'Moving On Up'
1971, Gary Barlow, vocals, piano, songwriter, Take That, . Written songs for Donny Osmond, Charlotte Church, Bryan McFadden and Atomic Kitten. Re-formed Take That without Robbie Williams in 2006 for a sold-out European tour.
1979, Will Young, singer, UK TV's Pop Idol winner, (2002 UK No.1 single 'Anything Is Possible / Evergreen').
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