Disorientated
...There´s a new blog and a new podcast. I hope you find them interesting.
Thanks Sheenagh for the following.......................
The Age Gap
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new
husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger
should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but
aged husband may over exert himself if they spend the entire night
together...
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the
expected knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and
there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's
Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny
consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are do ne, Roger kisses his
bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back
again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more
'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.. But as Roger gets set to
leave again, his young bride says to him,
'I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so
often.. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only
good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
'You mean I was here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.
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Te puse una almohada y una manta en el sofa para ti. - I put a pillow and a blanket on the couch for you.
Consultar con la almohada - To sleep on it/To think about it
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language......
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fave)
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea , does that mean that one enjoys it?
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Music Stuff May 13th
1957, Guy Mitchell was at No.1 on the UK singles chart with 'Rock-A-Billy', the singers fourth and final UK No.1.
1967, The Monkees second album 'More Of The Monkees', went to No.1 on the UK charts.
1967, The Supremes scored their 10th US No.1 single with 'The Happening'; it made No.6 in the UK.
1971, On his twenty- first birthday Stevie Wonder received all his childhood earnings.
1978, Boney M were at No.1 on the UK singles chart with 'Rivers of Babylon'. The single stayed at the top of the charts for five weeks.
1978, Yvonne Elliman went to No.1 on the US singles chart with the Gibb brothers song 'If I Can't Have You'.
1988, Scottish band Fairground Attraction were at No.1 on the UK singles with 'Perfect'- Best Single at the 1989 BRIT Awards.
1989, Bon Jovi went to No.1 on the US singles chart with 'I'll Be There For You', the group's fourth US No.1, a No.18 hit in the UK.
1989, Kylie Minogue was at No.1 on the UK singles chart with her second solo No.1 'Hand On Your Heart.'
1995, Italian dance act Livin' Joy went to No.1 on the UK singles chart for one week. with 'Dreamer'. Also a US No.1.
2002, Dionne Warwick was arrested at Miami International Airport for possession of marijuana. The charges were dropped after she completed a drug program and made a contribution to charity.
2003, Michael Jackson launched a court case suing Motown Records.
2007, Brian May was under 24-hour security watch after a deranged man announced he was setting off to murder him - then disappeared.
2008, The US Postal Service issued a 42-cent postage stamp in honor of Frank Sinatra.
Birthday Boys and Girls May 13th
1933,Mike Stoller, (Leiber &), songwriter, and producer for Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, The Monkees, Cliff Richard.
1941, Joe Brown, UK singer, actor
1941, Ritchie Valens, US singer,
1943, Mary Wells, US singer,
1950, Johnny Logan,
1950,Stevie Wonder, singer, songwriter, multi- instrumentalist, joined Motown in 61,
Latest Podcast Latest Show
Music Source 1 music source 2 music source 3 music source 4
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ”— Mother Teresa
Commiserations to Fulham from the Europa Final but it has been a good season for the fans. Congratulations to Atletico de Madrid who seem to have achieved more than their illustrious local rivals this year!
We had a great day yesterday as a trip on a European integration trip. We visited Alcoi and had a very nice coach trip before looking around the town and the museums dedicated to the wonderful Moors and Christians festivals held there each year. The history was fascinating and the interpretation centres are really good. We were also treated to a first-class meal at 2pm. >The food was really good and the service was excellent. Needless to say the company was also excellent with many expats from the Polop and Xirles areas. The weather was good with just a hint of rain once or twice during the day. Let's get the forecast for the Alicante Province.
Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday
21° C | 11° C
20° C | 11° C
23° C | 11° C
21° C | 11° C
26° C | 12° C
Thanks Sheenagh for the following.......................The Age Gap
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new
husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger
should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but
aged husband may over exert himself if they spend the entire night
together...
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the
expected knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and
there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's
Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny
consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are do ne, Roger kisses his
bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back
again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more
'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.. But as Roger gets set to
leave again, his young bride says to him,
'I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so
often.. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only
good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
'You mean I was here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Word of the Day
la almohada ahl-moh-hah'-dah (noun)
pillowEXAMPLES
Compré dos almohadas de plumón porque tengo alergias a materias sintéticas. - I bought two down pillows because I have allergies to synthetic materials.Te puse una almohada y una manta en el sofa para ti. - I put a pillow and a blanket on the couch for you.
Consultar con la almohada - To sleep on it/To think about it
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language......
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fave)
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea , does that mean that one enjoys it?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Music Stuff May 13th
1957, Guy Mitchell was at No.1 on the UK singles chart with 'Rock-A-Billy', the singers fourth and final UK No.1.
1967, The Monkees second album 'More Of The Monkees', went to No.1 on the UK charts.
1967, The Supremes scored their 10th US No.1 single with 'The Happening'; it made No.6 in the UK.
1971, On his twenty- first birthday Stevie Wonder received all his childhood earnings.
1978, Boney M were at No.1 on the UK singles chart with 'Rivers of Babylon'. The single stayed at the top of the charts for five weeks.
1978, Yvonne Elliman went to No.1 on the US singles chart with the Gibb brothers song 'If I Can't Have You'.
1988, Scottish band Fairground Attraction were at No.1 on the UK singles with 'Perfect'- Best Single at the 1989 BRIT Awards.
1989, Bon Jovi went to No.1 on the US singles chart with 'I'll Be There For You', the group's fourth US No.1, a No.18 hit in the UK.
1989, Kylie Minogue was at No.1 on the UK singles chart with her second solo No.1 'Hand On Your Heart.'
1995, Italian dance act Livin' Joy went to No.1 on the UK singles chart for one week. with 'Dreamer'. Also a US No.1.
2002, Dionne Warwick was arrested at Miami International Airport for possession of marijuana. The charges were dropped after she completed a drug program and made a contribution to charity.
2003, Michael Jackson launched a court case suing Motown Records.
2007, Brian May was under 24-hour security watch after a deranged man announced he was setting off to murder him - then disappeared.
2008, The US Postal Service issued a 42-cent postage stamp in honor of Frank Sinatra.
Birthday Boys and Girls May 13th
1933,Mike Stoller, (Leiber &), songwriter, and producer for Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, The Monkees, Cliff Richard.
1941, Joe Brown, UK singer, actor
1941, Ritchie Valens, US singer,
1943, Mary Wells, US singer,
1950, Johnny Logan,
1950,Stevie Wonder, singer, songwriter, multi- instrumentalist, joined Motown in 61,
Latest Podcast Latest Show
Music Source 1 music source 2 music source 3 music source 4
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